Cartman discovers the joy of true love and won’t let anything stand in it’s way. Even if that means he has to declare it in front of thousands of people.
Cartman needs to know how to not pay his slaves – er “Student Athletes” for selling their likeness to EA Sports so he goes to the University to find out how they are able to do it.
Cartman gets f**ked by his mom and all he wants is for her to kiss him next time.
Coon (aka Eric Cartman) along with the help from his new friend the dark lord Cthulhu goes about ridding the earth of hippies, whole foods, and of course Justin Bieber.
Cartman wants to be a Nascar driver when he grows up but isn’t poor and stupid enough to make it until an unlikely sponsorship from Vagisil makes his Nascar dreams come true.